Little Mama On The Prairie

A life and weight-loss journey.

Weigh-in Day, Week 10

I give up. Well, not really but I almost felt like it this morning. Another week of going in the wrong direction on the scale, up 1.5 lb this week. Grrr.

I KNOW the scale isn’t the only measure of success with losing weight, though it sure is the most motivational it seems. For instance, I slipped into a pair of SIZE 18 dress pants yesterday and got them zipped and buttoned all the way up. The thighs were still a little snug for all-day comfort so I didn’t end up wearing them but I got them on! I have not worn size 18 since well before I was 18. I’ve been a 20 for the past while. 22 before that and 24 at my heaviest. Bet you skinny readers didn’t even know those sizes existed…and in most stores they don’t. One of the many things I am looking forward to as my size goes down – shopping in ANY store I want to. One of the most frustrating things about losing weight though is having to buy new clothes every few months and I hate the phases when I’m in between sizes. I’m kind of there now. Most 20s feel too big, 18 still feels too snug, and there’s nothing in between.

So where have I been all week anyway? Well, as I said in last Sunday’s post, I wanted to commit to spending some daily time in God’s Word (The Bible) this week and working on my relationship with Jesus. Well, I have had a week of very early mornings doing that, then school, then exercise, and then the kids take over my life for the rest of the day so I really haven’t had much opportunity to write on here. By the way, my relationship with Jesus? Closer now than it was a week ago. Go figure. You spend time alone with someone, you actually start to get to know them better.

Here we are at the start of another week, lets make it a good one. Whether I feel like it or not.

 

 

 

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On my heart…

I don’t normally post on Sundays. Not for any particular reason, its just usually a busy or resting day so I don’t spend quite as much time on the computer and a little more time with my family. Today, however, there is something on my heart that I want to share. It has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss but everything to do with my life right now.

For some time now I have really struggled with my role as mother. Not so much feeling inadequate as a mother, as unable to cope. I feel pushed, pulled, pressed, cajoled and more than any other phase in my life, I feel spiritually empty. I have never been great at keeping up with daily devotions and alone time with Jesus. It’s always something I’ve wanted, but something I’ve never quite been able to get into the habit of. I have especially felt convicted of this recently as I realize a huge part of why I feel overwhelmed with motherhood is because I keep on trying to do it on my own strength. How silly is that? Anyone who’s ever been a mother (and a few who haven’t) know that motherhood is the hardest job on the face of the earth. How can I expect to be able to do it on my own? Why would I even want to try? So I have made it a purpose to add another discipline to my already full life, spend time alone with my Lord each day, in order to have the strength needed to do the tasks before me.

And then there is this. Two things I hope I never [again] say to any young mother:
1. Just wait, it gets worse.
2. I had to do it back when my kids were small, now it’s your turn.
When we say these two phrases to any young mother who is daily struggling just to survive motherhood, we are telling her two things:
1. There is no hope for you.
2. There is no help for you.
What devastating words! There is no HOPE for you! There is no HELP for you! Those are the two things every young mother wants to believe she can have, hope and help. Is it any wonder that young mommies everywhere are deeply hurting in silence because if they share their struggles with a woman who is past this phase, she is told there is no hope. There is no help.

I am so thankful for several women who took the time to encourage and lift up this weary, worn-out, devastated mother and help me to realize there IS hope, there IS help, both from our Saviour and from the women who believe and live the words of Titus 2:4-5,

“Older women likewise are to…teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

If I, as a struggling mother, have given you the impression that there is no hope, there is no help, then I sincerely ask forgiveness for this. And now I challenge both myself and each of you, to lift up the weary mothers around you, both in prayer and in physical support. Let us give them and each other help and hope.

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Better late than never…

Sorry for the overdue post today, I was away being blessed by a bunch of wonderful women at Grace Mennonite last night and all day today, then finished the day with sweet fellowship with the dearest of friends.

Not much to report this week, no gain, no loss just same old. Did the tracking, biked my butt off. One day the results will comes. I actually know why I likely didn’t lose this week but most people would find that a little TMI so I’ll just leave it at that and should have good results for you a week from now.

Have a blessed weekend. I know I already have.

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It’s a long road…

While I’ve known all along that losing the amount of weight I need to lose, over 100 pounds, would be a long journey, there are some days the road seems longer than others. I am looking forward to the day that I can look back instead of ahead – the road always seems shorter at that end!

This morning I spent an hour on my bike. I’ve been alternating 3 days a week exercising for an hour, 3 days exercising multiple (2-3) “short” sessions of 15-20 minutes on the bike plus 10 minutes of arm strength/weight training. To be honest, I’m not SEEING much benefit from all this exercise yet. I feel it, but I don’t see it. And some days all I see is the amount of work that piles up because I’ve made exercise a priority in my life. I wonder sometimes if I’m accomplishing much, if my priorities are in the right place. Should I be taking the time to exercise 6 days a week at the expense of household duties? Or should I be making sure my house is in order before I take the “personal” time to exercise? Some days it feels as though the only things I accomplish are getting my family fed and the exercise, then I feel guilty because my floor is covered with toys and crumbs. Although, this past Saturday I did a pretty thorough housecleaning and used that as my exercise for the day, earning 11 activity points by spending 1.5 hours with the vacuum, then mopping, dusting, cleaning windows and bathrooms.

Housework has its own challenges too, though. I may have the time for it, but I do have 2 small children in the house. Have you ever tried vacuuming when one child is sitting on the hose, “riding” along while the other is constantly trying to pull it from the wall and disengage the vacuum? How about cleaning toys up on the floor so you CAN vacuum and having two little people follow right behind and drop 2 toys for every 1 you pick up. They can leave a toy alone for an entire week but the moment you decide to clean it up it becomes the most prized possession in the house that must be kept on display…in the middle of the kitchen floor. Try sweeping the floor after breakfast to have your 1-year-old drop his plate of toast, deliberately, crumbs and all on the floor?

Crazy time with the little crazies.

Crazy time with the little crazies.

But exercise is really important to me. For one, it gives me at least one moment of the day where I can be completely by myself. Baby-boy is usually napping, baby-girl usually settled in front of the tely with something educational I’m sure. I get to watch non-educational-purely-entertainment-not-even-remotely-for-children shows/movies on my laptop and just let my brain rest while my body does some work. I honestly believe this alone time has been beneficial to my sanity in the last couple of months.

Another reason why I want to stay active is because being fit is as important to me in the long run as being slimmer. I don’t want to lose weight by diet alone because I’d be nothing but a bunch of skinny flab, not to mention it would take so much longer. I know if I continue to improve my fitness, the fat will follow. I don’t think a person can be fit and active and stay fat…correct me if I’m wrong on that one.

So I think I shall continue with my exercise, even if it means the house is messy. Maybe by the time I reach my goal the kids will be old enough to do the housework for me. Now wouldn’t that be nice?

Crazy #2

Crazy #2

*WEIGHT LOSS TIP OF THE DAY*

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – Get active! Get moving! The best way to quit being lazy to have an attitude adjustment and just do it. If you’re waiting for the day when you’ll have more energy to become active, that day is never coming. The funny thing about energy is that you have be active to get the energy to be more active. So get up off the couch and do something that makes your heart pump and your pits sweat. Its so much more glamorous than it sounds.

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Changes

As slow as the scale may move some days, I have definitely noticed positive changes over all in the past several weeks. For one, back around Christmas time I was having significant pain in one hip which I suspected had something to do with the poundage I had regained leading up to and over the holidays. That has completely disappeared. My joints also are not getting as stiff and sore when I sit for longer than a few minutes. I have the energy to make it through the day without feeling the need for a nap or caffeine boost mid-afternoon. Mornings are still a struggle but I need to work on going to bed earlier for that to be corrected.

Losing weight when you are as heavy as I, is about more than just losing pounds, it is reclaiming your health. Yes, I want to lose weight so I look better to myself and to others. But I also want to feel better, physically better, than I have ever felt before.

I have started thinking of it this way; if I were diagnosed with cancer, would I just sit back and say, “oh, its just going to get me in the end anyway, there’s just no use in trying.” And then at the end of my life say, “I wish I had done something about that when I had the chance.” No. If I were diagnosed with a serious illness, I would do everything in my power to get well again. I need to treat my fat like it’s cancer. I need to do everything in my power to get well again because if I don’t, it will likely kill me as surely as untreated cancer would.

The good news is, God has given me an awesome source of power to make it possible.

 

*WEIGHT LOSS TIP OF THE DAY*

Make sure your weight loss goal is not just about appearances. Your overall health is worth way more than how you look to others, or how you perceive you look to others. Treat your fat like cancer and beat the crap out of it.

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I wish…

I wish I had always been slim.

I wish I had learned to eat a healthy diet as a kid.

I wish I had learned to play sports as a kid.

I wish I would have chosen to see where my physical state was going and changed course before it was “too late.”

I wish I would have decided to change that course even after it felt like it was too late, 10 or 15 years ago.

I wish I didn’t have such big arms.

I wish I could look at myself naked in the mirror with pride and not tears.

I wish I could feel free instead of trapped in this body.

I wish I could really believe I am beautiful in my husband’s eyes.

I wish I could have had a nice round baby-belly with both of my pregnancies, and not just an expansion of the fat belly.

I wish the snow was gone.

I wish I could shop at all the same stores as my friends and find great deals on clothes.

I wish I could get excited to shop for clothes.

I wish Starbucks beverages were all 0-points – the original versions, not skinny.

I wish there was no such thing as artificial sweetener.

I wish I hadn’t eaten so much of my brother-in-law’s amazing risotto last night.

I wish I could eat more of my brother-in-law’s amazing risotto now.

A year from now, I do NOT want to say, “I wish I had stayed on plan and kept losing weight.”

 

What are you wishing?

 

 

 

 

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Weigh-In Day, Week 8

Howdy folks! I think all the snow this week has finally frozen my brain cells, but hey! My lack of writing here has led to some cleaning in my house! Some long over-due cleaning. We moved an old piano out that has been here since my hubby was a boy and yikes, those were some giant dust-bunnies! I guess somehow cleaning them up got me in the mood for a little housecleaning so I ended up dusting everything, cleaning the windows and some walls that appeared to have milk splashed all over them, thank you children.

Anyway, you’re not here to read about my adventures in housecleaning. You’re here to find out whether or not I’ve had a good week, right? Well, I did. Down 2.5 lb. this week for a total of 9 lb. in 8 weeks. Consistency pays off in the end my friend.

 

*WEIGHT LOSS TIP OF THE DAY*

Find a good balance of eating healthy MOST of the time, with wiggle room for either meals on the go or the odd splurge and be consistent. You won’t feel deprived if you let yourself off the hook a little here and there and you’ll have better long-term success. You probably won’t have fast or even weekly results, but you’ll be able to stick to your plan much longer than someone who crash diets, which often leads to binges.

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Worst Wednesdays

I have no idea why but most of my eating struggles show up on Wednesday. Last week, Little Papa’s birthday. Tonight we’re going out for supper to use up a coupon my hubby got for his birthday from Tony Roma’s. I’ve been researching their menu all morning, trying to figure out what I can eat without blowing my plan to the moon. There’s not much on the menu to help. Even their salads weigh in pretty heavy. Sigh, oh well, I’ll pick the least worst and try not to dwell on it too much.

After supper, we have a social outing with the couples from our small bible study group. Mini-golf followed by fellowship and food at one couples’ home. Food. Snacks. Chips. Brownies, I’ve heard. I am bringing something as well and I think I’ve decided on a lightened up cake – 1 box angel food cake mixed with a can of crushed pineapple – and fat-free cool whip. At least then I feel like I am partaking without losing the ability to eat for the rest of the week. It’s hard some days, having a social life, leaving the house, and remaining on track to lose weight. But it is worth the inconvenience. I want the results of living a healthy life, even at the cost of some temporary pleasures.

To add to my daily difficulties, my son has decided to give up his morning nap. I was quite used to his napping twice a day so I had to stretches of time to get things done. Now I have to attempt all housework while he awake so I can reserve nap time for exercise because there is no way to exercise if he is awake. Other than constantly chasing after him and getting him out of one thing or another. I already get up at 6:30am to work on my schooling before the kids get up, maybe I should move it to 5:30 so I can get my work out in early too…I soooo would hate that. I am not a morning person.

Thankful right now that my oatmeal keeps me so full into early afternoon, I think perhaps my lunch will consist of a variety of fruits and veggies and I’ll reserve the remainder of my points for the evening.

 

*WEIGHT LOSS TIP OF THE DAY*

Did you know you can find the nutritional information for most restaurants menu items on the internet? It helps to plan ahead when you know you’re going to eat out. A lot of food choices can seem good at the restaurant but when you research them at home, you may find a lot of hidden fats and sugars. Foods that may seem bad upfront, can sometimes be surprisingly healthier than even a salad. Know before you go!

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Enough Winter

Back in the fall, I did something I never should have. I read The Long Winter from The Little House on the Prairie series. In 4 days, it will be 5 months since our first major snow fall here in Saskatchewan and the ground has been white ever since. Five stinkin’ months of winter. At this point, I guess we may as well make it one more month and go for a full half-year. Not. I am starting to get antsy for winter to end. Easter, after all, is in just 3 weeks and it needs to be warm and dry enough for us to hide chocolate for the kids’ egg hunt. It NEEDS to be. I have not yet had a snowy Easter since living in Saskatchewan, I’d prefer not to start now. Besides, all the cold and snow is making me feel like sleeping all day, every day. Maybe if the world outside would wake up a little, I’d have an easier time of it too.

Winter Wonderland

Our backyard this winter. The snow has completely buried the swing seats, and is approximately waist deep over this entire area. Just imagine all the fun my kids can have in the mud when it melts…or not. That white building is our smokehouse where we smoke our homemade sausage on pig butchering day each November.

Did I tell you I got a package full of seeds for my garden in the mail the other day? I did. I want to plant them. Now. Planting is my favourite part of gardening. After that, I’ve had my fill of gardening for the year but unfortunately, that’s when the real work starts. Assuming we get a Spring and Summer before the next winter hits this year anyway. I wonder if peas would grow if you just planted them in snow?

Anyway, there’s your peek into my thoughts this Monday morning. I am on track, working hard at losing some poundage and hope to give you a good report on Saturday. I’ll leave you with a photo of my lush green garden (or about half of it) from last summer. Anyone want to come help weed in a few months?

This was early last summer, before everything was up and full and bushy.  This photo shows maybe a little over half of my garden.

This was early last summer, before everything was up and full and bushy. This photo shows maybe a little over half of my garden.

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Weigh-in Day, Week 7

I don’t really feel like writing this post today, to be completely honest. But then, me being completely honest is what these posts are about so I guess I’ll just suck it up.

The kids woke me up this morning and I was planning to sleep in a little so I’m the tiniest of tiny bit grouchy. Really, just a tiny bit. Then I stepped on the scale and it mocked me and said I’ve gained 1.5lbs this week and I just about smashed it to bits and flushed it down the toilet. Like I said, just a tiny bit grouchy over here this morning, not the way I wanted to start my Saturday.

I am honestly not sure what happened this week. Even though we had the birthday in the house, I tracked my food and made sure to stay within my weekly budget. I exercised religiously every day. I think I will take a closer look at my food journal and see if there is something I can switch up.

Today is the start of a new week, I’ll do my best not to disappoint you…or myself by next Weigh-in.

 

*WEIGHT LOSS TIP OF THE DAY*

Don’t let small set backs become major ones. When the scale disappoints you, pick yourself up and determine to do better next time. Don’t let the discouragement keep you down and get you further behind. I’m talking to myself today.

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